Getting out!

One day I was woken up by Amata telling me my father had bailed on me and escaped the vault, leaving me here to fend for myself.  Of course her asshole father thinks I was part of some big conspiracy to lead an exodus from the vault (probably still mad about the time he walked in on me with my hand underneath Amata’s vault suit last year) and wants me dead.  Amata hands me a 10 mm handgun and tells me to get my ass to the Overseer’s office, where I can escape to the wasteland and find my dad.  Thanks for stirring up this shitstorm and leaving me to shoot my way out of the vault, Dad.  You’re a real stand-up guy.  I’ve got a bullet with your name on it if I ever find you.

So a couple of hilarious things happened on my way to the vault exit.  I had to cap a security guard, but at least that got me some decent security armor and a helmet.  After cleaning his blood off as best I could, I put this stuff on and started walking towards the overseer’s office.  As fate would have it, we had a lovely radroach infestation at the same time, so that distracted a lot of guards long enough for me to kill them.  Anyway, hilarious thing #1:  I’m walking down the hall and hear a whimpering, and as I get a little closer, there’s Butch crying! He asks me to help his mom, as she is being attacked by radroaches.  He begged me! I told him to beg harder.   He does, and offers me what I’ve never wanted: a place in his shitty Vault gang.  Whoopee! I laughed at him and told him to go to hell.  I walked over to the wall window where I could see into the room where Butch’s mom was and watched her get eaten by roaches.  I laughed and then remembered the gun I had in my hand…

I could still hear Butch down the hall crying.  I walked around the wall and he was facing away from me.  I held my gun with both hands, taking careful aim at the back of Butch’s head, and put him down for good.  Man, that felt good.  At least now he can hang out with his mom in Hell.

I went through the halls, killing any of the roaches that were stupid enough to come up to me.  I came across Jerome, who was dead, and checked his corpse.  He had an audio recording from my dad on him; I half listened to it.  Blah blah blah, love you, but I’m out… blah blah blah.  Continued my trip and eventually made it to the hallway leading to the Overseer’s office.  I heard his voice, so I made sure to be as quiet as I could and tiptoe down the hallway.  As I got closer to an open room, I peeked at the wall window and saw him and one of his cronies staring down Amata.  I could understand the Overseer’s words now; he was not happy with her or with me.  I crept around the frame of the door, and again took careful aim at the back of the overseer’s head.  I pulled my trigger and something happened I didn’t expect:  I hit him perfectly at the base of his skull and his fuckin head came clean off! I popped his cronie in the face as he came running to start some shit with me and checked on Amata.  She had her father’s blood on her, but it didn’t seem to bother her too much.  She thanked me for saving her and gave me the password to her pop’s computer so I could get the fuck out of this Vault.  I got to his computer and snooped around in the files.  There’s some shit about me and my dad here.  Looks like he is going to a place called Megaton.  The machine let me open the vault, so I opened his secret compartment underneath his desk, and headed down to the vault door, which looks like a giant gear set into a wall.  As I got down to the vault and triggered the door to open to the wasteland, Amata caught up to me and tearfully told me I didn’t have to kill her dad.  She was thanking me 10 minutes ago, but now it’s not cool? Make up your fuckin mind! I oughta put you down too! Hey, that might be fun! She never did let me go all the way with her, despite all her advances.  Fuckin tease.  I reloaded my clip and pulled the hammer back so I could wax her, but the security crew had finally caught up to me and I wasn’t about to try to take on 4 guys with guns.  I ran my ass off into the cave behind the vault door, and the refused to follow.  I made my way through the cave and after a few yards, for the first time in my life, I saw sunlight.