Childhood memories

I’ve only got a few vivid memories that stick out in my mind.   I am the only person I have ever met that remembers being born.  I don’t remember much, only my father talking to me in a surgical mask and my mother’s voice.  Something was wrong with my mother, and I could feel the panic in my father’s voice.  My mother died that day.

Much of my young childhood I don’t have vivid memories of until I turned 10.  I was given my Pipboy 3000 on my tenth birthday.  This meant I would start doing odd jobs around the vault.  My father brought me to one of the small dining halls where Amata, the daughter of the overseer and a girl that, for no reason apparent to me, wanted to be my friend, had planned a surprise party.   The party was uninteresting… an old lady gave me a shitty poem as a present (what 10 year old wants a fucking poem? worst present ever) and at one of the tables in the back sat an arrogant little fuck that was a little older than me that I’ve never gotten along with: Butch.  This guy’s been a prick to me as long as I can remember.  He said some snotty things to me and I walked off, making a mental note to replace his shampoo with acid.

After a robot decided it would be a good idea to cut my cake with a circular buzz saw, my father brought me to Jerome to give me a surprise present.  I’ve always liked Jerome… he’s a smart fella and he isn’t one of the mindless sheep that eats all the Vault bullshit that gets fed to us every day.  Anyway, Jerome and my dad gave me a BB gun.  I told my dad I would have rather had a shotgun, but a gun’s a gun.  Maybe if I shot Butch enough times in the same spot I could draw blood.

Nothing spectacular or interesting happened for the next several years, until I turned 16 and was scheduled to take the GOAT exam.  This exam is supposed to tell you what your job in the vault will end up being.  On my way to the exam, I saw Butch and his asskissing friends harassing Amata.  I walked up and didn’t even let that little prick open his mouth… I just punched him until he asked me to stop (trying to be cool by telling me I “wasn’t worth it” when I could tell that little shiteater had tears in his eyes).  Amata thanked me… this will probably get me to second base with her. Finished the GOAT and went on with life for a few years, until…